Karen Goodrich's Testimonial

Dear Phil

I just want to thank you for your 'not-so-subtle' way of helping me with a serious problem, that I did not even know I had!

A couple of months ago when we were talking, I mentioned casually, that my kids were making running my business very difficult, as I had to drive my son and daughter to school at different times and pick then up in the afternoons.  This was seriously hampering my day, making it hard to reach financial goals as it basically left 5 hours per day for real work.

You asked me, "how did this make me feel"? I replied, "angry", you asked, "angry at the children"?  I replied , "no angry at myself".  You said "sometimes there is a really simple solution to problems". I was immediately affronted…did you mean someone else care for my children and take my place?  What did you mean? And I thought…I knew my children wanted independence…just a little…I had been ignoring this plea for independence especially from my 10 year daughter, Georgia. She had just changed schools to a school just in our suburb, I knew what was coming, and my heart was now racing…I asked you "what do you mean"? you said "Just let go". I said "what, let them get the bus to and from school on their own"?

I thought I was a good Mummy taking them and being there, and then, for the first time I could see, being angry was not helping them at all; and being controlling was not helping them either. Maybe, just maybe, letting them do something for themselves and letting them feel what it's like to feel trusted, might be a better way to go. After all, I hate it when my clients are slow to trust me and try to control every situation!
HANG ON….what I am teaching my children by behaving like this?

Anyway, this day I was talking to you quite early and my kids were ready for school and impatient to go.  I said "would you like to catch the bus"?  You should have seen my daughter's face, she raced in and got her bag and hat. I walked to the bus stop that first day. It is literally six houses down the street. Georgia was bursting with pride, she jumped on the bus and was gone in seconds.  I walked back…OK…what just happened? Where is my little girl?…( you must know, this from a woman who did not let her own Mother hold her grandchild until she was 6 months old, never asked anyone to babysit, never let my kids go to anyone’s house, they come to our house).

Later, she came home, like this was a normal day, all smiles. Now, I work nearly 1.5hrs extra a day, I save fuel and frustration. But, this was just a start, I started letting them both make small decisions and talked to them about the fact that if they talk to me about the details of arrangements, I will let them go and do things. They are responsible for sharing all the details and responsible for getting home on time. And they ARE responsible!

The best part was, about two days later, my 13 year old son, came into my office and put his arms around me and said "Mum, I really like you like this, I like that you trust me and tell me stuff and I feel better, like I can tell you stuff"
WOW, WOW, WOW!  I just let them get the bus, and what a change in our relationship!

Thanks so much Phil ... this has been priceless!

Karen Goodrich
KG Designs
Sydney NSW

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